Two Nagging Questions

Jesus has been talking to me lately. He always does but he has been drilling a couple things into my soul. Two questions. Two haunting questions. Two questions which have left me hesitating to answer. Not from a lack of knowledge, but fear. The truth is I don't have a good answer to justify the way I live.

Years ago I had an experience that I believe was orchestrated by the Holy Spirit in order to teach me something. Something very important.

Funny how some times we have to be reminded of these lessons.

As an associate pastor, back in the day, I was fortunate enough to be able to combine four of my passions into an annual event. I love working with young people, I love playing the drums and I love worshipping through music in the context of deep relationship. Even though I was not the youth pastor and this opportunity fell nowhere in my job description my boss was kind enough to allow me to play drums for and travel with our youth choir. As I look back on these trips I see many life changing experiences for the students, the people who attended the concerts and me. One of these experiences came unexpectedly and is now being recalled to my mind and heart as a pattern for my future.

On one of our trips to Portland I was asked by the choir director to give the morning devotional. I remember feeling deeply that I was to talk about Saul's Damascus Road experience and the life transformation that followed. It was fine, nothing special, but it did lead to a few opportunities to pray with students. I remember standing there with three specific options for prayer. I had not planned on how I would end and I was trying to figure out how I could have the students group into one of the three specific categories of prayer. I decided to have other leaders pray for the students. I called Jay, Steve and Chris. I can clearly see it now, like I am standing right there. I had them stand across the front and told the students, "If you want prayer for ______, go to Jay. If you want prayer for ________, go to Steve and if you want prayer for _______, go to Chris." Then I sat down on the piano bench next to my friend Peter and watched as over the next hour or so each and every student went through each of the three lines. It was very cool.

As I sat there soaking in what was happening I heard God's voice so clear, "This is the model for you. Take the opportunities I give you and give them away."

As I sit here typing this right now I know that Jesus is pushing me to give away what he has entrusted to me. I know that the next stage of my life and ministry is to identify, equip and empower leaders. To lead the leaders. To take the opportunities he has given me and give them to those I disciple.

So back to the questions...

What if? and Why not?

They are killing.

What if I transitioned from managing tightly to leading leaders? What if I identified, equipped and empowered leaders?

Why not? What have I got to loose?

If it is truly HIS glory I seek, then what in the world have I got to loose?

Today I ask God to saturate me with his Holy Spirit. That I would have unusual confidence, boldness and courage. To be his witness and to be a wise steward of the resources he has given me.